Reader Mail 6

Good morning, Nation.

Before I get into my post, let me just say that the new DJ Dan podcast is UP!  I've actually heard the contents of this one.  The "how to get it" was figured out by Psynergy and Sam (along with others) in the wee hours of the morning.  Try to figure it out yourselves, but if you're stuck - ask someone in the comments here or check around 5:31 a.m. in yesterday's thread. (If the first password stops working - try just entering the second one instead.)

Also - I'm such a bad friend.  I don't give nearly as much props to Ninja and the Other Girl as I should.  OG just came off of a break and is ready to kick some butt and Ninja's been bringin' it old school (I have NO idea what that means.)  So go check'em out!  Well, not NOW.  After you read and comment on MY post. ;)

Okay, now that that's over, I can officially welcome you all to another FRIDAY!

You know what that means, Nation -

READER MAIL!

This week's mail will have TWO, count'em TWO firsts in it!  The first-first is . . . well, you'll see.  Let's just get to it!

First, the disclaimer: Reader Mail is where I kick back, relax, and answer your mail in public and in the least serious way possible.  Okay, there may be SOME real answers ahead, but for the most part, don't take anything I say in this entry TOO seriously unless otherwise noted.  And if I tease you in any way - it's completely out of love.  At least one person knows I'm going to tease him. :)

Today I've decided to start with the FIRST first!  I am going to respond to something that is NOT an e-mail but a podcast.

David from TLEC Podcast asks (And I'm paraphrasing, because I don't feel like listening over and over again to transcribe it):

"Yo, Speaka-foo!  Sup?  What's the dealy-yo with the lack of log-ins, fo-rizzle?  There be all kinds a nizzy-stealin' goin' on!  You need to do sum-m sum-m 'bout it, Baller.  Peace out, shawtie."

First off, David, I am NOT a "Shawtie."  I'm a "Bo."

Second, if I understand you correctly, that's a good question.  It was also brought up in my comments last night.  I've actually addressed this several times, but I think it was JUST in the comments.  I think it's time I address it here.

The reason that there is no registration in the comments of my blog is that I happen to be hosted by a company that also hosts several other blogs.  They choose to use the same software for all blogs.  It's good software, I'm not complaining, but that software doesn't allow for comment registration.  Now, there are other options like IP banning - but any changes done for my blog affects every other blog hosted by unsaid company.  They're understandably cautious about using that option.

So, basically, I'm pretty much stuck reading every single comment and deleting the badniks by hand.

The good news is - this means I read ever single comment!

The bad news comes along when I have to run out for a few hours.

Sorry, but there's just no way to change.  This is why it's SO important to ignore the boar. I do my best to make commenting as pleasant as possible, but since I can't be here every second of every day and can't hire other mods, it's important to just ignore the ones who are causing problems and just e-mail me their name and timestamp.  It minimizes the cluster-frelledness of the situation.

Thanks, for the question David. 

And I totally voted for you on "So You Think You Can Dance."

Okay, next we go back to a traditional style e-mail.  Our first e-mail is from Mfatu, who says:

" I have it on good authority that Joop the Orangutan is actually The Librarian from Unseen University in Ankh-Morpork. This would explain his lofty age since we all know wizards live quite a long time (unless they hold high positions in the University in which case they are assassinated)."

Perhaps he's the "Death of Non-Human Primates?"  That would make sense, especially if he's new to the job like Susan.

So, who's next on the chopping block (Butch is funny.)  Oh, it's Joel!

"I think I've figured out the Valenzetti link, so follow me for a second...

1.  The Hanso Foundation bought all copies and rights to "The Valenzetti Equation" by Gary Troup
2.  Enzo Valenzetti attended the Fibonacci Institute
3.  Fibonacci created the Golden Section
4.  Leonardo da Vinci used the Golden Section when creating "The Mona Lisa"
5.  da Vinci and "The Mona Lisa" were in "The Da Vinci Code" with Tom Hanks
6.  and Tom Hanks was in "Apollo 13" with Kevin Bacon

And that's 6 degrees from Kevin Bacon..."

You win at life.  The person last week who won - they get bumped to second place.

Which, when you think about it is pretty good.  No one's gonna knock you for getting second place at life.

On to our next victim!  Next we have our SECOND first in Reader Mail history.  I asked one of YOU a question.  That's right, our roles have reversed!

I asked Princess Pixie:

"What's DJ Dan's favorite cereal."

She was kind enough to e-mail me back with a response:

"What is Lucky Charms, Captain Crunch  and Preemo's Powdered Toast?

Lucky charms was his favorite as a child.  He was intrigued that shapes kept getting added and he wanted to know WHY and WHO was behind the new addictions!!

As an adult, it is Captain Crunch.  He is the captain of his ship and he uses his authority to seek out the truth!!

Preemos' Powdered Toast would be his favorite cereal if Dan was *fictional* because he is always for the underdog and Powdered Toast really does try."

Good answer!  Good answer!  Bravo!  Huzzah!

Okay, time to check who's next on the list!

Oh no!  Please no!  Why did HE have to e-mail me?  Do I have to print it?  Can't I just skip over it?  It's not worth it, really.  I mean - I have to listen to my own advice and ignore . . . right?

"Speaker,

Am I a Troll?

The Wolfe"

*Sigh*  I guess I'll answer.

Wolfe, to answer - Is DJ Dan paranoid?  Is P cryptic?  Is Nicolas Flamel REALLY old?

I think you get the point. ;)

Now to quickly run away from this E-Mail!  Lisa, save us!

"Do you know where your towel is??"

Of COURSE!  Next question!  Sam asks:

"This has been puzzling me all day, if frozen water is iced water, whats frozen ink?"

Really creepy.  NEXT QUESTION!  lost.stud asks:

"have two questions for you.

First, what do you think of the America's showing in the World Cup so far?  Seems like they might be a generation or two from being contenders to me.

Second, which came first, the chicken or the egg?"

1. What?  World . . . Cup?  Is that one of those . . . sp . . . orts things?  Foozball?

2. The egg - breakfast is before both lunch AND dinner.

NEXT!  Mel inquires:

"I want to know how all these people can spend that long of time on an island mostly on the beach and not get a sun-burn. I spent ONE day at the beach and I am FRIED."

Dude, if the island can heal Locke's legs, I think it can handle some sun-burn. :)

Next we have our FIRST group e-mail . . . hmmm . . .

"Speaker,

It is pretty obvious that BACKSPACE is a part of The Hanso Foundation's plans.  Do you have anything to say about this... what have you heard?  I've heard it stands for Biological Associatioin for
the Continuation of Korean Species Perfection And Controlled Evolution.

HereAndThere, Pixie-Huh, Ashnmel, Rxhector, Shippinu, Lena, and Jamiroquai (Josh)"

For your own safety, stop inquiring about them!  They're MORE dangerous than Hanso!  Change your names and go to seven different countries NOW!  All of you!  HURRY!  Your LIVES depend on it!

Next we have . . . ANOTHER group e-mail?  Sheesh, can't you people think for yourselves? (j/k)

"Speaker,

Who are these assistants who get these snippets for you? You are well aware of our firm belief that DJ Dan is dead. If you have some tangible proof that he is not, we would be elated to see it.

This has been a busy week. Lots of intricate little puzzles to solve as we turned a few more corners in the maze. We do not know what is more frightening, what is going on or how we are discovering it.

Remember, no one is your friend if you continue this. Be wary of the information, but more wary of who brings it to you.

The owls are not what they seem.

-  THE COLLECTIVE"

The owls?  Are we talking about the exams, or the ones that bring us mail?  Don't worry, I don't trust EITHER owl - as I hate exams, and I've gotten one too many Howlers from my Mother.

Oh, and I just realized that that was an unannounced THIRD first - I replied to a COMMENT!  (FOURTH first if you count the group e-mail!)  What a great addition of Reader Mail!  FULL OF FIRSTS!

Okay, Kristy wants to know:

"Speaker, like dr dolittle can you hear animals? Do the yellow labs talk to you too?

lol"

lol?  LOL?  Do you think this is some kind of joke for you to laugh at?   NO!  This is SERIOUS business!  Some people think our chubby balding DJ friend is DEAD!   If true, it's horrible!  This is no laughing matter!

Sheez - thankfully I can end with a more serious e-mail from W:

*I'm your only friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little glowing friend
But really I'm not actually your friend
But I am*

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch, WHO WATCHES OVER YOU!?  Make a little birdhouse in your soul!

Not to put to fine a point on it, but that's the end of this week's addition of READER MAIL!  I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.  This one probably took the longest to compose . . . though I'm not sure why.

Anyway keep your eyes open.  It's Friday and I'm having one of those itches . . .  If something DOES happen today - just use this as the thread for it.  If for some reason it gets 1200 comments in a few hours, I'll start a new thread tonight.

Have a good weekend and until next time.

Comments

[Tyler]

First!

[Speaker]

Second!

[OnlyRumors]

They Might Be Giants...niiiiice

[Tyler]

Hope i get picked next

[katamarmom]

where did BACKSPACE come from?!

[Speaker]

Katamarmom - backspace is just a joke - i was playing along.

[Rich]

oooo I never get here this early into a post

[OnlyRumors]

Speaking of TMBG, Speaker, did you know that all of these FANTASTIC Dunkin Donuts commercial songs are by TMBG? I LURV hearin them every day on TV!

[Tyler]

Lol...I sent my email as lol i got picked! Yay!

[in the game]

10th !?!

[katamarmom]

speaker - the group that sent that email about Backspace, were they joking? They all are pretty reg posters.

[Speaker]

katamarmom - yup!

I'll let them explain.

[Speaker]

BRB

[Picsel]

BRB? when has he ever said BRB? lol hey guys BRB for four hours xD

[wombat6]

Speaker, I just have to say that your references (Princess Bride, Harry Potter, TMBG, etc) get better and better! Thanks for keeping it fun! :) It makes the long hours between updates go by so much faster!

[sjb121590]

Hehe... I was about to comment on his Harry Potter reference. It's no fair, I can never get somewhere first... I feel unworthy.

[vexingmodstwo]

Hey Speaker, do you think the Valenzetti equation is going to factor heavily in this whole thing?

[bigsugad]

i just told my parents im gay............

[Porcupine]

Loved the Discworld references!

[sjb121590]

I haven't even heard of some of these things! Discworld? TMBG? Princess Bride? Am I just terrible with today's culture?

[Porcupine]

sjb- Discworld is a book series by Terry Pratchett, TMBG is the band They Might Be Giants, Princess Bride is a movie that is a cult classic.

[wombat6]

seriously? okay, Princess Bride - a great book and AWESOME movie, rent it and read it....TMBG, aka They Might be Giants (a band) - take a listen, they are so worth it! And Discworld I will leave to Porcupine.... : )

[lost.stud]

Speaker,

Nice Waterboy reference (foozball), brought a tear to my eye. Reader mail is my favorite post of the week.

[sjb121590]

For a second I thought the Princess Bride was that dumb movie with Anne Hathaway... n/m Haven't heard of any of those bands either... My sis controls the TV and radio.

[dharmachick]

I am quite relieved that Speaker knows where his towel is.
I was a bit concerned that he was not the hitchhiker that I hoped he was.