Speaker's patented "CATCH-UP FOR n00bs!"

Welcome, citizens and LOSTkateers!

After Rachel's stunt this weekend, I assume we'll be getting a lot more Hanso-hunters joining our ranks. And I'm guessing that what we've found so far might be a little confusing to those who I lovingly refer to as "n00bs."  Because of this, I've decided to  write a massive round-up of what's happened thus far.  But, to make it a little more pleasant for the "oldbies," I'm decorating the entry with some of the photoshop images I didn't post Friday.  I'll post the ones that didn't fit today later in the week.  (To find out who sent in the images, check the file name.)

So, here it goes.

May 2nd, The Hanso Foundation launched television ads that ended with a phone number.  The call center, coupled with the relaunch of their website put a spin on their organization as "reaching out to a better tomorrow." A lot of us KNEW it was just propaganda, but the rest dismissed people like DJ Dan as “conspiracy nuts.”   That is, until PERSEPHONE. 

She trickled out pieces to the jigsaw puzzle of truthiness.  She gave us clues and evidence through mazes of website hacks pointing towards evil deeds performed by the self-proclaimed “benevolent organization.” The true believers weren’t surprised, but all the Scullies finally started to realize that perhaps people like DJ Dan weren’t that crazy after all. 

In her revealing presentations, P questioned each and every fact the Hanso Foundation handpicked for us.  Who is Dr. Thomas Werner Mittelwerk?  Is he even a real doctor?  Why does a Foundation that claims to want to “protect life” hire people like Peter Thompson, who at one time defended Tobacco, Oil, and Nuclear interests against the victims of their greed?  And why is Hugh McIntyre, a self-proclaimed family man, cheating on his wife with higher-ups at the Global Welfare Consortium? 

“The board of directors ain’t saints.  So what?  Sounds like the every day life of your typical CEO or Politician!” 

Well, my friend, that’s just the tip of the evil, evil iceberg.  Next she went after the Scientific Programs.  Mathematical Forecasting?  They claim it’s used to determine the impact of pollution, population growth, and disease.  But Miss Hacker-Pants, Lady P, discovered documentation proving that the “amicable” Hanso Foundation used it to justify preemptive strikes against enemy targets.

“The Hanso Foundation: Starting wars so you don’t have to.”

And what about the Worldwide Wellness and Prevention Development Program?  A program that is supposedly “a far-reaching educational initiative designed to teach the basics of sanitation, nutrition, and disease prevention to the world.”  Yeah right!  P uncovered evidence that the hospitals built by the program were used for organ harvesting and trafficking.

ORGAN HARVESTING!  You don’t get much more evil than that!

And that was JUST the beginning!  There are strange things happening on hidden levels of Hanso funded mental hospitals.   The Life Extension Project HAS produced a 105 year old Orangutan named Joop, but it‘s also produced new deadly diseases in Africa. 

And what about the Department of Heuristics and Research on Material Applications?  What's behind DHARMA and what's its connection to a mysterious equation and a room full of Savants hidden away in the Vik Institute in Iceland?

And finally, where is the founder of our favorite monolithic organization, Alvar Hanso?  Is he even still alive?  And if not, who’s running Evil Incorporated?  P’s guess was Dr. Mittelwerk.  But just as she was telling us her theory, the Hanso Foundation SHUTDOWN the website.

SHUTDOWN ... by the man.

P had to find a new method of communication.  She showed us her true face and set up a secret blog using her real name, Rachel Blake.  In Copenhagen she bumped into Dr. Mittelwerk himself and caught some images of maps showing a mysterious island near the equator.  THAT little stunt got her hotel room invaded by an armed man. 

With the help of the mysterious GidgetGirl she made her way to the Vik institute in Iceland.  She was on the trail of supposedly dead mathematician, Enzo Valenzetti, but before she could get very far, her  source turned up dead.

A great man once said, “You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don't alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views. Which can be uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering.”

Rachel DID discover that the Foundation had an interest in shipping lanes.  An interest that started with Alvar Hanso’s Grandfather Magnus Hanso, the captain of the slave ship “The Black Rock.“  But she had no idea why this was. 

Rachel again pleaded for help from Gidget.  Gidget pointed to Italy and Rachel followed.  She hoped to find a still alive Valenzetti, but she got something far far different.  She stumbled across Dr. Mittelwerk loading a strange vessel called “The Helgus Antonius.“  A vessel that, according to all records, never existed.  When it left, Rachel was dead in the water.

That’s when GidgetGirl arranged a meeting in Paris. Rachel showed up early and waited.  And waited.  And waited.

Gidget never came.  When Rachel returned to her hotel she found a news report on the death of Hugh McIntyre and mistress Darla Taft.  Both were killed in a car accident.  Rachel informed us that it was NO accident and that  Darla was, in fact, GidgetGirl.

What a tweest!

Suddenly shots broke through Rachel's hotel window and a man broke through her door.  She tried to escape, but he said he was on her side.  He gave her a key and the address to Darla's secret apartment.  When Rachel arrived, she discovered a a package that contained info on a SPIDER PROTOCOL and a taped message from Darla telling her that the "Helgus Antonius" was a hospital ship on its way to Sri Lanka.  And that the ship was outfitted with wards labeled "QUARANTINE."

That brings us up to this past weekend.  Rachel showed up at Comic-Con and pleaded for everyone to go to Hanso Exposed.  There we are now assembling a video by finding hidden glyphs all over the web.

And that's pretty much our adventure so far.  I know it's not EVERYTHING, but  I tried to stick ONLY to the important highlights. I'm sure some people will think I left out something THEY think is important.  But covering EVERYTHING would take forever.

I hope this was both informative and at least a LITTLE entertaining.  The photoshops are great!  Have an awesome day, Nation.

Until next time.

PS - Ninja's got some more codes!

Comments

[JustWillow]

FIRST??

[lislis6]

WHERE ARE THE 5 OTHER GLYPHS?!?!?!?!

[DarkSidez]

Third :)

[gretna]

fourth

[monte]

Excellent pictures, and kudos to those that made them!

[scully]

ROTFLMAO!!! (@ those pictures!!)

[monte]

I am tempted to add "sixth," "seventh," "eighth," etc. just so the beginning of a thread is as interesting as its middle

[DarkSidez]

johanngut - http://lostoverlost.blogspot.com/

Anyone with any good photo software, can you get the pic of Daniel Kim off this site and see if you can decipher the code on his wrist?

Posted by: johanngut | July 24, 2006 at 05:08 PM

I tried earlier today, way too pixelated to pick up anything

[projectmayhem]

looking foward for tonights quest...

[ImLost]

um... fir...secon...thir...somewhere near the top that I havent been before

[DarkSidez]

Mr. Friendly -

That doesn't sound too friendly, now does it?

johanngut i looked at the photos and i dont think that we will be able to get anything from them

top 20?

[Distrustful]

Well, he didn't insult anyone's parents, at least.

[ImLost]

Mr.Friendly, dude just calm down, your getting excited

[Monte]

P.S. Here's a nod to Speaker, who is revealing his knowledge of The Fuselage via the labels "n00bs" and "oldbies." For those unfamiliar with those terms, I commend you to that other Lost BB, where the terms are well-understood by everyone who isn't, in fact, a n00b....

[AprilisLost]

Good Gad that's a long post speaker, love the pic's though.

[scully]

LOL @ Dis

[Monte]

Distrustful --

As you know, Speaker's Mom usually is one of the first to post in a new thread. So he's still got time for that too... ;-)

[..]

TOP whatever... WHO CARES!

Get on with the clues!

[scully]

but Monte - he's out of his league with Speaker's Mom.....

[Monte]

AprilisLost --

I think Speaker's post is so long because he's getting used to reading my own posts and my emails, and he's forgotten what short is :)

[ImLost]

.., there are no clues, cant kind any glyphs

[bravo leader]

i posted after the new thread on the old one:

also, yeah G4's hosts are usually very elitist and don't have the greatest senses of humor, especially the dudes. but keep in mind, Evangeline Lilly used to be a G4 host :p

[Requiescat in Pace]

Just a hunch. I don't know if I'm on to something or not.
Somebody go to the glyph site and punch in fvh7n_2.
The _2 may not count, so try a few combinations. Tell me if it works...

[ImLost]

I mean cant find