Reader Mail 12

Good afternoon, citizens.

Before I get into my post, let me take a moment to ask you all:

Won't you be my neighbor?

And now we go to the Land of Make-Believe because it's FRIDAY!

And you know what THAT means, Nation -

That's right!  It's your basic average girl and it's here to save the world. You can't stop it cuz it's READER MAIL!

The only good thing this week's mail bag ever did for the gals was get hit by that train!

First, the disclaimer: Reader Mail is where I kick back, relax, and answer your mail in public and in the least serious way possible.  Okay, there may be SOME real answers ahead, but for the most part, don't take anything I say in this entry TOO seriously unless otherwise noted.  And if I tease you in any way - it's completely out of love.

Disclaimer addendum: There are NOOOOOOOO clues in here.

WEEEEEEEELLLLL, except for maybe that ONE!

Now, let's start off with...   David from TLEC:

"Speaker,

Last week, Dr. Vincent "Wally" Bole quoted Reinhold Niebuhr when he said "Aim for the stars."  The original quote was actually, "Aim for the stars and maybe you'll reach the sky."  Anyways, most people don't know that Neibuhr also is the author of the famous Serenity Prayer utilized in Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12 Step Programs.  Since many of us have become addicted to your blog and the clues contained within, I thought I would share with you and your readers a new Serenity Prayer written by my friend NobleLawyer.  This may help out some people who are really jonesing for more clues.

'God, Grant me the serenity to accept that I will not receive a new clue everyday.
Courage to comment my ideas and theories
and the wisdom to know the difference between Ninja's Mom and Tom Selleck (the mustache makes it so difficult).'

I think this prayer is a good starting point but more is needed.  Have you ever thought about starting an 'ITEics Anonymous' group?  Have you ever been in a 12-step group?  Can you relate to us in any way?"

Wow.  My "Dig at Ninja" quota has been filled . . . by DAVID and NOBLELAWYER!  Go David!  I don't have to stress coming up with a new zing now. 

Shew.

As to your questions.  I can relate.  I too have addictions.  Several in fact.  One of them, as you may know, is comics.  And another is the Colbert Report.  Now, what makes this even weirder is I literally just started the Colbert Report that my TiVO recorded last night and his guest is Marvel Comics editor-in-chief JOE QUESADA!

So, my apologies.  I was going to come up with some witty response to your question, but as two of my addictions just appeared on TV simultaneously, I am now convulsing on the floor with foam coming out of my mouth.

Okay, now that I'm better and cleaned up, who's next? The Robotic . . . Elephant?

"Dear S-man, I had this hilarious letter written up for you my system
crashed!:(
I've had a bad week, so I'm gonna go out on the limb and say that I would be
willing to bet my collection of The Tick Comics that you... (being an avid
collector)

Have a copy of The V. Equation! Cmon, Admit it!

Can I borrow it? Please?"

I do NOT have a copy of the ....*ahem* "V. Equation."  But even if I DID . . . I would not let you borrow it.  First, you would crease the dust jacket.  THEN you would get a perfectly round coffee stain on one or several of the pages.  You would also "dog ear" several pages and perhaps highlight favorite passages.  Your DOG would then get a hold of it and chew off just one corner of the hard cover.  You would retrieve it before any of the pages were damaged by said dog, but when you drop it in the toilet later while trying to balance the book, TP, and flushing while keeping your pants from touching the seat, the pages will all get crackly and warped.

So, you see, by the time you give it back to me it will look like an antique novel from the 1800s.  And I just don't appreciate my stuff being treated like that.  And now you owe me a new copy of the Valenzetti Equation.  So pony  up, pachyderm-boy.  I'm waiting on my book!

Okay, who's next out of this giant bag of mail? Jenni*!

"Hey Speaker,

I found this at the JeepCompassKaraoke.com website. What do you think: awesome or awful? Check it out!"

Dude, it's ME!  And I'm DRIVING!  The last time I drove at night I got pulled over for speeding.  The cop walked up to the window and shined a flashlight in.  I didn't end up getting a ticket because since I'm a shadow, the light made me disappear.

Dude flipped!  Thought he was crazy!  It was HILARIOUS!

Mail bag, mail bag, are you Arabian?  Who could be next, oh my! It's Tresbien!

"Dear Speaker,

I'm sure you knew this already, but there's a borg named Five of Seven whose father's name is Magnus Hansen.

And, it's rarely necessary to wear a parka in the middle of July in San Diego.

Hmmm.

How are you today?"

There was also a Borg named Hugh. (McIntyre?)

The gold leafing looks divine on your feather duster.

I'm fine, how are you?

Okay, gimme a second, this next letter is HEAVY!   Is there iron in here or something?  OMG!  No!  It's ALL letter!  I didn't know typeface and paper could WEIGH that much!  This weighs more than Ninja's mamma! 

That can mean only ONE thing!  It's either from the Truth Tempest or Monte . . . and it's . . . the FULL MONTE!

"Dear Speaker:

I am writing to inquire about what I perceive to be the unconscionable delay by you in passing on what I know Rachel Blake intends to be my own personal glyph.  You see, earlier this week I saw that you have been posting heretofore unknown glyphs, so clearly you are one of Rachel's "trusted few."  I am equally certain that I am as well, and that she has trusted you with passing along my glyph while she is preoccupied.  Why, you might ask?  Well, because I am a living "number" -- 42, to be precise.  That is, in fact, how old I am -- and I am very confident that there are not too many 42 year old citizens because, well, we're just too old.  I am certain there are fewer of us than, say, 15 year olds, 16 year olds, and 23 year olds, or people who sometimes post on your Boards like 4 and 8 year olds.  So I am a very precious commodity in this environment.  Moreover, as the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy revealed long ago, being 42 makes me the doubly precious answer to everything in the universe.  It also makes me the mirror of Rachel's 24 year age (which has to count for something), and a leche for still wanting a date with her.  But, well, that's what is expected when you're 42 and the secret to everything.

Anyway, as a living number -- and a very special one at that -- if you're not going to send me my glyph, I do in fact have an alternative form of compensation.  You may send me to Hawaii for the forthcoming filming of Season 3 of Lost, and a personal date with Evangeline Lilly, who is older than Rachel and potentially more likely to be impressed by a living number that also is the solution to everything in the universe.  I would consider that satisfactory recompense for my missing glyph.  But only if you fly me first class.  And not on any Oceanic Airline flights, thank you.

Anyway, your attention to this oversight would be appreciated."

I am disinclined to acquiesce to your proposition.

Okay, that's it folks!  Reader Mail's over.

I was serious . . . no clues here!

Go on!

What?

Oh yes!  Photoshops!  I almost forgot!

Click the extended entry to see the images, then you may go.  Seriously.  That'll be it.

Until next time.

Check the filenames for credit!

My trip to Mexico.

What a WONDERFUL movie!

Reader-Mail Rainbow!

Either my family had mullets, or Tribbles are eating our heads . . .

I got LOTS of ice-cream pix.

I am here to PUMP . . . YOU UP!

Fox-style drawings have become popular!

Hanso, YOU'RE ON NOTICE!  Be careful.  You don't want to be dead to me.

Two by two shades of white.

Gee . . . wonder who sent THIS one. . .

Gotta love those action figures!

Speakhouse.

In an mmm bop you're SHUTDOWN!

I love this one!  So pretty!

This is a HOAX!  A wonderful, brilliant, lovely, awesome, genius hoax which I shall treasure, but a hoax nonetheless! :)  (Actually, this was intended in fun and not deception... but I know at least ONE of you out there will try to enter the code on here.  Trust me - it won't work! ;D)

All right.  NOW that's it.

NOTHING to see here.

Move it along!

I'm not gonna give you anything.

Seriously!  I'm stubborn.

You REALLY want something . . . don't you?

How bad?

What's in it for me?

*Sigh* All right . . . FINE!

Here:

Eighth moon of the Monkey thrice before.
A voice from the Middle knows much more.

Now, GIT!

Comments

[dharmachick]

Wow, I think that this is the earliest I've ever posted.

[seth]

TOP 10!

[dharmachick]

^in a thread, I mean.

Ha! I refuse to post the typical.

[ConConHead]

Wow, Speaker's being very obscure there...
Middlewerk is the only thing I can figure out!

[dharmachick]

Lol, Quince, is that your Locke pic?!

[Tess]

usually a lurker, never been here when there wasn't over a hundered posts already

[noblelawyer]

Top 10! Earliest I've got in eva

[dharmachick]

^oops, ignore my last comment... I skimmed too quickly and didn't notice the filename. :)

[Sal3112]

AND a new fragment has been released.

The hunt begins...

[danny]

top ten woohoo

[Walt is the Key]

Top 20?

[Walt is the Key]

Man, I should have posted before I read!!!

[Sal3112]

when I log into HE it still says 16 fragments, but if you look at the stats page, there's a new one there, definitely.

[dharmachick]

"voice from the middle..." The Middleman?

[froggirl]

nice pics everyone!

[ready AIM fire]

maybe he means "MITTLE" and not middle.
throwin ideas out.

[ColdUpHere]

New Fragement Released

[FENERY]

top twenty

[harcar]

what does it really say in the comic?

O25TK
025TK (zero)
O2STK
02STK (zero)
OZ5TK
0Z5TK (zero)

HEEEEELLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPP

[Puck]

YAY!

[noblelawyer]

I posted before I read the post! Thanks David and Speaker for the Shoutout but I can't take credit for the last line. That was all David. My original last line was "Wisdom to know the difference between IG and OOG sites" I prefer Davids though ;)

[sadtooth]

hmm so what's the clue...

[The Spider]

Top 40.

[Lostie815]

top 50

[dharmachick]

grrr...
I had to reload HE.com and it's taking forever to "collect the fragments"... grrr...