LOST: Inside The Experience

Good morning, Nation. And welcome to the very FIRST edition of ITE profiles.

The other day I asked for a list of your top ten contributors and you all voted in spades. Some people complained it turned into a popularity contest, and I don't disagree, but I'm gonna stick to my guns. BUT, I'm going to try to offset it a bit - this is what I'm going to do:

Each Thursday I'm going to profile one person from the top 10 reader choices, and each TUESDAY I'm going to profile my own pick. Mine will be picked for different reasons. I might think the person in question has contributed to the Hanso Hunt a fair amount, or the person may have christened the hunt with an interesting milestone. Whatever my reason - I assure you, my ulterior motive is no more than entertainment.

So, click below for the first of YOUR picks:

My FIRST victim is someone you ALL know for his AMAZING digital photography. He seems to be EVERYWHERE that's important, from stalking Rachel . . . to DJ DAN's secret broadcasting lair.

Yesterday, I sat down with this quadruped and we discussed everything from his political leanings, to how big his hat REALLY is. Needless to say, The Fox can now say he has been NAILED . . . by The Speaker.

THE SPEAKER: Okay, so let's start the questions. The first and OBVIOUS question is:

Why "The Fox?"

THE FOX: Well once, when attending college, I went to a science lecture. They where using some newfangled radioactive device. A Fox got caught in the beam, landed on my hand, and BIT me - giving me special "Fox powers."

Wait, maybe that was Spider-man...

THE SPEAKER: I believe Spider-man was bitten by a...um, spider?

IF I'm not mistaken.

THE FOX: Oh.

THE SPEAKER: Well, that at least explains the FOX bit.

But in many of your on-line incarnations you are known as "Browncoat" . . . could you not afford a black one?

White is also quite nice.

Brown just looks so... dirty.

THE FOX: Yeah, but it's rugged and tough.

And it was also part of the intergalactic struggle against the Alliance.

THE SPEAKER: I guess it matches that cowboy hat, too.

What is that hat, by the way? 50 gallon?

60 gallon?

THE FOX: Hmmm, I never tried holding water with it.

Its a magic hat, though. So I assume it holds a lot.

THE SPEAKER: ACCIO HAT!

Didn't work.

Doesn't seem very magical to me.

Now, on a more SERIOUS note...

THE FOX: Uh oh.

THE SPEAKER: Your camera - what make and model is it and where can I buy one?

THE FOX: Oh, you cant buy one!

I fashioned it myself.

THE SPEAKER: Perhaps you should patent it and sell it.

THE FOX: It's an Imagitron 5600.

THE SPEAKER: Imagitron? That sounds kinda..."Mickey Mouse."

THE FOX: It's made out of cardboard, duct tape, bubble-wrap.... and hopes and dreams

THE SPEAKER: Wow! Sounds like the all-American camera!

THE FOX: Indeed!

THE SPEAKER: Okay, so the world wants to know - what does the FOX do in his spare time - you know, when not playing photographer for Rachel Blake?

THE FOX: Not much. Work, college, train horses. And at night... I fight crime.

THE SPEAKER: Do you fight crime on your horses?

THE FOX: Only cattle rustlers.

THE SPEAKER: I should avoid the obvious "Brokeback" jokes, yes?

THE FOX: Please.

THE SPEAKER: In that case, (sheep herder) on to bigger and better things. I normally stay away from religion and politics, but the public wants to know Fox's political leanings.

Stewart or Colbert?

THE FOX: Hmmmm...

I have to say Colbert has a certain charm to him.

THE SPEAKER: Interesting...

THE FOX: Maybe I'm just more used to Stewart, and haven't seen as much Colbert.

THE SPEAKER: You know, Stewart was ALMOST "on notice."

THE FOX: Really?

THE SPEAKER: Yeah - he wouldn't apologize to Geraldo - but he finally caved.

THE FOX: I don't blame him. Geraldo is the Devil, you can tell from his facial hair.

It gets pointy and evil.

THE SPEAKER: Again, I know I said no religion or politics - but as I already asked you a political question - now I have to get religious -

THE FOX: Okay.

THE SPEAKER: Original Series ... or TNG?

THE FOX: Honestly, I never watched much Star Trek. Though, I had seen a few episodes of TNG. I would say that in the Sci Fi realm I have a much higher dedication to the dead show Firefly. (hence the browncoat)

THE SPEAKER: Okay, so you're a Commie mutant traitor...gotcha.....

So, being a fox...

What is your position on animal rights,? Do you think they should have the right to vote?

THE FOX: Well, I work "Guest Relations" at a zoo. I work with the people all day...

And if PEOPLE are allowed to vote...

Well, let's just say that animals are much smarter. So, I think so. Yes.

THE SPEAKER: PeTA wackjob..... wow, that's two strikes.

Another FOX question...

THE FOX: I do believe animals should be eaten though.

Delicious, delicious pandas.

THE SPEAKER: Oh, well then you're back in my good graces. Good for you. Now, another FOX question -

Are wolves natural enemies of the fox....or are they considered family?

THE FOX: Ah! Wolves can be either. Foxes are generally a much smaller creature. But most foxes know kung-fu. (little known fact.)

So really, wolves sometimes befriend foxes for their access to chickens.

THE SPEAKER: That's not exactly what I mean. Let me give you a scenario:

A wolf gets into trouble... would you harbor him as family until the trouble's passed?

THE FOX: Probably, but at the same time I would use that as a cunning way to later extract a favor from the wolf.

THE SPEAKER: I see. You know, "the Wolfe" commonly terrorizes the citizens of ITE.......so, you would harbor a terrorist......

thanks for being so honest.

And one final question:

Do you have any theories about what Rachel is doing right now?

THE FOX: Well, seeing as I commonly stalk her - I mean follow her to make sure she stays safe - to get the pictures of TRUTH that are often hidden within the reality of "video," I can say that lately she has been even more elusive! I imagine she's plotting something major, possibly a coup on Portugal.

THE SPEAKER: Oh good, then you and your PeTA wackjob Commie mutant traitor terrorist harboring buddies can have a place to stay.

THE FOX: I wouldn't say communist, the rest is probably true though.

THE SPEAKER: And that's all the time we have for now. I'd like to thank The Fox for joining me today. It was a blast. And I'd like to thank RealmerX for . . . well, you'll see.

And to all of you out there reading right now, you can see more of the Fox at his MySpace here. And if I were you, I'd pay special attention to his blog section. And also, if I were you, and I were paying attention to that section, and I found something interesting, I would NOT assume it was a glyph, but instead something just for fun as a distraction until the next glyph comes out.

Thanks again.

Until next time.

Comments

You're still up, Speaker?

Posted by: Benito | August 16, 2006 at 11:48 PM

Top five? First time posting! Chasing leads on Ninja new glyph clue, so I am working late and glyph hunting.

Posted by: KdgCop | August 16, 2006 at 11:49 PM

Give fox a FEW minutes before you go to his myspace btw ;)

G'night.

Posted by: SPEAKER | August 16, 2006 at 11:51 PM

hello all.

Posted by: sean-deezy | August 16, 2006 at 11:54 PM

FOXY!

Posted by: Leighsa | August 16, 2006 at 11:54 PM

great job Speaker and Fox - too funny

Posted by: scully | August 16, 2006 at 11:59 PM

"ydaer si ecapsym"

wth is that? I think its french or something.

Posted by: The Fox | August 17, 2006 at 12:01 AM

Hey Speaker!

For everyone working on chocolate sublymonla clue, there is some guy over at TLEC who's girlfriend know American Sign Language and he is getting her to translate the sign language on the chocolate factory video from you tube right now.

Posted by: Cadfile | August 17, 2006 at 12:02 AM

Abso-tute-ly Fantabulous!

moeee!

Posted by: MisterFrosty | August 17, 2006 at 12:03 AM

...you and your PeTA wackjob Commie mutant traitor terrorist harboring buddies....

Daaamn! Speaker don't play around.

Posted by: Cadfile | August 17, 2006 at 12:10 AM

Speaker: All I can say is Wow way late dude...
And I'm awake for it... Wow

Posted by: | August 17, 2006 at 12:22 AM

Wow top 20...that NEVER happens on here for me! I am not sure what this one is about but thought I would at least say HI!

Posted by: Heather's Brain | August 17, 2006 at 12:25 AM

The Fox, are you joking or did you not know it says MySpace is Ready???